As we speak, Craig and I are compiling our dossier documents, preparing them for their stampy journey through national and international bureaucracy. Annoyingly, the forms and documents that are required are similar to what was required of the home study, but in a different format. We are also required to write a family letter, describing our life in one page, as well as an adoption letter, basically explaining why we want a baby. The cost of this adoption is quickly becoming real and overwhelming. We've already paid about $10,000 in fees, authentication, immigration costs, and the home study. We still have $11,000 that goes to Ethiopia, plus we need to save for the travel fees (for 2 trips), postadoption reports, and my maternity leave. Not to mention all of the normal baby stuff we will need to obtain, like a crib, clothes, car seat, etc. This is the one time I am thankful that this adoption is taking so long. It is giving me time to save and save some more.
Speaking of delays... there is yet another delay on the Ethiopian side. (Craig's response was, "If it goes any slower, we'll be going backwards." Knock on wood). Apparently, the recent adoptions that are being processed are not being done properly. The Ethiopian government is not making enough of an effort to investigate a baby's abandonment or to find the birth family. How does this affect us? More delays on matching us to a baby and we will likely have an older baby. We were originally promised a baby around 6 months old. She may be closer to 12 months now. We're trying REALLY hard not to get frustrated with it, but it appears that the excitement we had last week is now being replaced with stress over the money and agitation over how difficult it can be for one couple to bring home one baby. I know that the delays are implemented to ensure that babies are not being sold or kidnapped. From a human rights perspective, its a noble effort. From an adoptive family's perspective, its frustrating. (I'm now wondering how many times I've used "frustrated" or its derivative in this blog.)
Like a good trooper, I am trying to put this frustration to good use. I recently met with a couple who is adopting in another country. Apparently, this country requires a psychological evaluation for both the mother and the father. It was interesting sitting on the other side of the room for this evaluation. Much of the required information was asked of us during our home study, so it is interesting to be the one asking the same questions. I am in the process of writing the report, which is taking MUCH longer than anticipated since I have to interpret the testing myself (as the computer scored report significantly overpathologized them.) As a professional aside, I would not have administered this particular test because it is normed on a clinical population and this couple does not meet that criteria, but the agency requires it. Looking at Google, the cost of these evaluations are about $500-1000, which is A LOT of money for someone who is paying $25,000-30,000 for an adoption. I was accused of being a "bleeding heart" since I have significantly reduced what I am charging because I understand how expensive it can be. I am also taking special care in writing the report and trying to do it quickly. I want it to be better written than my own home study (which was poorly written for my high standards) and I want it to be thorough and meet the agency's and country's requirements. The report is still not complete, but apparently, the couple liked me enough, they told the agency and the agency is sending me another couple. As far as I know, I seem to be the only one in Oklahoma doing these evaluations for this agency because the second couple is travelling quite a ways to get to me (can't tell you how many miles since it borders on identifying information). Part of me feels proud that I am able to do these evaluations and help these couples on their baby journeys. However, the other part of me is secretly amused by which agency is referring couples to me. The agency doing the adoptions is the same one that told me that "no country will adopt to a mentally ill parent." Craig then wondered (in jest of course), "Do they know that a mentally ill person is doing the evaluation?" I suppose I am just sane enough.
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