For those of you who hoped our bad luck was over....

This evening, I got a very interesting phone call.
Craig and I were sitting in the living room, quietly enjoying the Glee Christmas episode from the DVR when my phone rang (singing Queen's Under Pressure). We don't normally get calls in the evening, so we usually associate late phone calls with bad news. I'm not sure how to classify this.
On the phone was the executive director of our adoption agency. If you know anyone who has adopted, late night phone calls are supposed to be amazing. Late night phone calls only mean one thing....baby referral. Well, guess what, folks. This was the phone call for us. She had amazing news for us. Not one baby, but two! Two babies! A 4 month old boy and a 5 month old girl. I was hit with what I could best describe as "nauseous excitement" and had to lean on the kitchen counter for support. Then I was hit with a blow. These babies are in Ethiopia. I had to interrupt her and say, "You're going to have to repeat that for me." She excitedly told me again that she had two babies available in Ethiopia. Our bad luck was over, right? Many people have remarked that we have had nothing but bad luck with this adoption and that our good luck would sure come soon. This was surely that shift, right?
Wrong. Apparently, we can't transfer the money we've already paid into the domestic adoption into an international adoption. If we wanted these two babies, we would need to come up with $12,500 now (Plus travel fees for two trips to Ethiopia) and forfeit the money we've already paid in the domestic program. We can only afford to continue with the domestic adoption. We cannot afford to even consider Ethiopia right now.
My stomach sank. I processed everything, trying to think of any way to afford returning to the Ethiopia program. She continued to speak to me about these babies, how beautiful they are, but her voice began to fade away. My thoughts were racing, my emotions conflicted. I could not think of a way that we could afford Ethiopia again, since a bulk of our adoption funds are tied up in the domestic adoption. I had to make yet another horrible, difficult, gut-wrenching decision. I had to sadly decline these two beautiful babies. For about 2 minutes, Craig and I were the parents to a son and a daughter and now we're not.
The executive director apologized and said that she believed it was a long shot. However, she worried that we would hear that someone else was offered these babies and feared we would feel neglected or cheated. She assured me that she is still working on the domestic adoption and tried to comfort me. The Ethiopian babies wouldn't be ready to come home for 6 months or more and our domestic adoption will probably be sooner than that.
I hung up the phone (or rather tried hard not to smash it against the wall) and I screamed, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I ran to Craig and angrily shared the news. He initially tried to calm me as best as he could. "It will be okay, Cyndi. It will work out." Then I could see the phone call sink into his head. His facial expression slowly changed from reassuring and nurturing to angry. He responded loudly, "Are you telling me that they encouraged us to move away from Ethiopia to the domestic program and as soon as we do that, they have two Ethiopian babies for us? What is wrong with them? How can they do that?" I'm not sure how to feel right now. I feel angry. I feel frustrated. I feel devastated and sad. And despite our agency's best efforts, I do feel cheated.