The moment we've been waiting for......

For months (okay...years!), we have been awaiting that mythical call. Everything we've read. Everything we've heard and learned has said that our wonderful news would come in the form of a phone call. Our news came in the form of an email. On May 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm (if interested, this was exactly 18 months after our first home study), I was winding down my day and writing my last progress note. In the lower right hand corner of my computer, my Gmail Notifier activated, alerting me to an email. With Gmail, you are presented with the name of the sender, along with a preview of the first few lines of the message. I read that the email was from our adoption worker and then read the following words: "You have been chosen:" (see below. Click on it if you need it bigger)

Before I had a chance to read the full email, I immediately began screaming. The only other person in the office, was friend, Jenny. So, I squealed and screamed in a rapid, high-pitched fashion, "Jenny!Jenny!Jenny!Jenny!Jenny!Jenny!" and flapped my hands like a spastic bird. (Jenny, I've always told you, when we matched, you will know. Well... you definitely knew. Even if you didn't stay late, you probably still could have heard me on your ride home.) She immediately ran to my office. We viewed the email and I started looking at the files when I finally realized, "I need to call Craig." Jenny left the room so I could talk to Craig privately. I then picked up my phone, my hands shaking. I stared at the phone and thought to myself, "How do I do this?" I was so excited, I couldn't figure out how to use my "smart"phone to make a phone call. I eventually figured it out and called Craig. Annoyingly, he showed little enthusiasm, but said he would be coming home soon. I rushed home (calling best friend, Serenity on the way and resisting the need to cry happily with her on the phone). Craig arrived soon after me and was smiling ear to ear. I gave him a hug and sighed, "I'm so happy you're smiling." Silly boy felt too embarrassed to scream and flap his hands like a spastic bird at work. We then cuddled up on the couch together and studied the birth mom file. The birth mom wants a closed adoption. After she gives birth, she wants no contact with us or the baby. So, her privacy appears to be very important to her. Out of respect for her privacy, I won't divulge much information about her or her family. We will simple call her "T." T lives in Pennsylvania and is having a baby girl on July 1. However, her medical records indicate that the development of the baby may be about a week earlier than that. T is perfectly healthy. The baby seems to be perfectly healthy, based upon testing and ultrasound (sadly, no we don't have any ultasound pics). I can say that the baby was estimated to be 3 lbs, 14 oz at the end of April. She was very active with a fetal heart rate of 152 beats per minute.

After reviewing the file, we then had to contact our adoption worker and let her know if we would accept. We had some concerns about the birth father and sent off some questions to the agency before we moved forward. Our questions were answered by the next afternoon and we excitedly said, "YES"! I immediately felt a bit of panic. My legs were wobbly. My heart started pounding. I couldn't breathe. This was actually happening. We're going to have a baby. We're going to have a daughter. Someone will call us "mommy" and "daddy."

Our next stop in the process is the phone call. The agency scheduled a telephone call between us and T. If she likes us and we like her, then we get to officially call it a match and the adoption attorneys start to do their work. Our phone call was scheduled for 6:30 today. All day, I was filled with anxiety. What if she doesn't like us? What if I inadvertently say something to offend her? What if she's really rude? What if it sounds like she's scamming us? I arrived home from work around 5:30 and tried to busy myself by doing some work. As 6:30 approached, it became apparent that housework was not going to happen. I began shaking and trembling and started to worry that our phone call would be delayed because I was busy in the bathroom vomiting.  Craig started out the phone conversation. I didn't know what to do. I immediately wanted to walk around, but it was clear that my legs were too gelatinous to do that. Eventually, I regained the ability to stand and started pacing around the house while speaking to her, but didn't want her to hear my heels pacing across the hardwood floor, so I paced on my tippy toes.

T admitted that she did not know what to say. She had never done this before. We also had no idea what to say. Our adoption agency gave us some pointers and common questions to ask. I stared at that list and had difficulty finding a way to insert those questions in a non-awkward fashion. She seemed very sweet over the phone. She sounded very kind, very articulate. She is 37 weeks pregnant and is pretty uncomfortable and tired. She reported that she is ready to deliver and wants to help us have a family, find parents who will love and support her child. We thanked her for choosing us and I tried to empathize with her perspective. I asked if she had any traditions or values that she wanted to pass on. She declined and said she that she only wanted the baby to be loved and nurtured. She frequently laughed and said, "Ahwwww..." to our comments. In the end, she said she felt very comfortable with us and would call our adoption agency to say that she wanted us! We ended the call and waited a few minutes before calling the adoption agency, which would allow T some time to call them. After several minutes, Craig called and spoke with our worker. The agency still hadn't talked to T. She may have called, but our worker was on the phone. Craig has been telling me that we are officially matched with a birth mom and a baby. However, I have been anxiously awaiting our agency's phone call, telling us that we will have a daughter on July 1. Until that happens, my paranoid little brain keeps thinking that she was just being nice to us on the phone, but now wants nothing to do with us.
If we all say, "YES!," then we wait. When T goes into labor, she will call the agency and then call us. I gave T my cell phone number and told her that she could call me or text me at any time if she has any questions for us or needs to share anything. Honestly, I don't think she's going to call. She said that she wants our daughter to be ours "all the way." After she gives birth, she will move to another floor of the hospital and our worker will introduce us to our daughter. We will never get to meet her in person. I respect her decision, but I feel sad. I want to hug her and happily cry. I want to thank her in person for changing our lives. I did inform her that she could call us at any time if she wants an update or a picture. I didn't want to push her, but that option was there is she wanted it.

Now we wait. The attorneys will do their magic. Once we get that message that T is in labor, we have to pack and hop on a plane immediately. (This undoubtedly will make me anxious and crazy because I'm such a planner and control freak) Since Pennsylvania is pretty close to home, we will get to share this moment with some friends and family. If you live near PA (and even if you don't), we would be more than happy to share that moment with you. After about a week in Pennsylvania, a judge will finalize the adoption and we will be free to return to Oklahoma. Then the adoption will be irrevocable and Sera will officially be a part of our family!