A day in the life of this potty trainer mommy

We started potty training months ago, following a program from a popular book (supplemented by other readings). Sera had been curious about all things potty for months and everyone told me she was ready. We bought fun potty training books, a little red potty chair, and "big girl panties." Our first day of training, I was feeling arrogantly confident. She had an accident as soon as she awakened, but her next trip to the potty was a success. Granted, she immediately fled from the potty in terror as soon as she was done, but it was still a success. This should have been a sign to me of what was to come. In the days and weeks that followed, Sera continued to resist potty training. She began to hold everything in until she could hold it no more. Initially, she was distressed by the sensation of urine running down her leg. After a few days, she would have an accident and then point to the floor and say, "Mommy, clean that up." We'd clean it up together and I'd try to say something supportive, like "you'll get it next time." Supportive mommy only stuck around for so long, as I then began to briefly leave the room after accidents because I was getting so frustrated. Feelings of frustration morphed into gross overgeneralizations about my abilities as a mother, which only increased my distress and likely increased Sera's. Then Craig made an "executive decision" and said we needed to put potty training on hold. Again, I questioned my abilities as a mother and reminded him that the book says not to stop. We just have to get more strict. He again suggested that we quit. I will admit that I was a little relieved when we made the decision to stop formal potty training. I really wanted Sera to learn, but not at the cost of my sanity. So, we decided to keep it casual. We wouldn't really enforce the potty training, but we would try from time to time and keep her in Pull-Ups. A couple of months passed and Sera and I were leaving a Kindermusik class. Sera announced that she had to use the potty and she did. The rest of the weekend, she asked again and again. I was amazed. I had done nothing to encourage this change. I was feeling pretty impressed with my obviously telepathic potty training abilities. I later learned that Sera was interested in potty training now because there were two kids at day care who were potty training. Oh, I do not have magical potty training powers. My kid just fell into peer pressure and observational learning. Oh well. Magical potty training powers have to be the lamest of all the super powers anyway. I'd have some silly super name, like Empress Flush or Princess Piddle.

So please enjoy an account of a potty training day in our household.

6:55: Get ready to wake Sera for school. Open the gate and let Fred run ahead, who nudges Sera's door open. I remain hopeful that Sera remained dry last night, as she does on most nights.
7:00: Play an upbeat Disney song to wake Sera. She is not a morning person and she seems much happier if she awakens to something like, "I Just Can't Wait to be King."
7:02: Tickle Sera because obviously Simba is not working. She groans, "Nooo!" Place Fred in her bed. Fred crawls around her bed and starts to lick her face. Sera groans again, "No, Fred." Fred becomes bored and jumps at me, notifying me that she wants to leave. Remove Fred from her bed. Sera shoots up out of bed and calls, "Where Fred go? Fred, come here!"
7:06: Ask Sera what she is going to wear today. She tells me she wants to wear a dress, but then rejects all of the dresses in the closet, except her costume princess dresses. I explain again why she can't wear a princess dress to school. She then asks to wear a princess shirt. I pull out several selections. She chooses her Elsa shirt. I lay out her Elsa shirt and Sera informs me, "I no want to wear my Elsa shirt." We then select a new princess shirt, shorts, and socks. Sera inevitably asks to wear her sandals and flip-flops. I explain again why she can't wear flip-flops to school.
7:09: Pull several shoe selections for Sera and she tells me, "I have to go potty." I acknowledge her request and turn around. Sera then informs me, "Sera peed." I think to myself, "Don't get mad. You're not supposed to get mad" and then respond, "Oh, Sera. Okay, let's get you cleaned up." Clean up Sera. Strip the bed. Get Sera dressed. She refuses to wear the shoes she selected and I have to explain again why she cannot go barefoot.
7:16: Ask Sera to go potty to see if she has anything left in her bladder. She answers, "I no want to go potty." I answer, "I know you don't want to, but you have to try." She then asks for a gummy worm in exchange for her compliance. I offer a gummy vitamin instead. She asks again for a gummy worm. I finally concede and offer to get her one gummy worm if she goes potty and puts on her shoes. She sits on the potty and holds up two fingers and says, "TWO gummy worms." I argue back, "No, one." She says again, "No, two." Yeah, I'm arguing with a two year old. I finally say, "One gummy worm and your gummy vitamin." This is acceptable to her.
7:19: Give Sera a selection of 3 different colors of gummy worms (because she always has to pick and I always pick the wrong ones). Shake out several gummy vitamins. I pull out a selection of 5 or 6 vitamins because again, she has to pick. She then demands, "Two orange." She doesn't want to eat two orange vitamins. She just wants two in her selection. She chooses red anyway.
7:21: Brush teeth using our Magic Timer toothbrushing app because its the only way I can get her to brush. She points to the clock that appears on the screen and announces, "That's a clock!" But I'm pretty sure it doesn't sound like "clock." I parrot back with emphasis, "Yes, that is a cLock." Remind Sera that I cannot brush her teeth if she keeps closing her mouth around the brush.
7:24: Fight with Sera because now she won't return my phone. She tells me she is going to draw me a picture. She expertly swipes across the screen, locates "Kids Mode," opens the doodle app, and scribbles while saying, "That's mommy. That's daddy. That's Fred. That's Sera. Draw Sera. Sera starts with S. S-E-R-A." I lie and tell her that the phone's battery is almost dead and it needs to rest. She turns over the phone. I try to get her to wear her jacket. She agrees to wear her jacket, but just to the car. Put on her jacket. She walks two steps and announces, "I take off my coat."
7:30: Load Sera into the car. Craig takes  her to school.
8-5: I'm at work. I periodically check the video feed from Sera's school to see what she's doing today. I notice that she is no longer wearing the shorts from this morning and is in a different shirt. Check again later and she's in another pair of shorts. Oh dear.
5: Leave work to get Sera.
5:43: Arrive at Sera's school. She squeals in delight when she sees me and announces, "Sera's mommy's here!" I gather her things and ask her to go potty. She tells me, "I just went potty." Walk her out to the car and snap her in the car seat. She then says, "I have to go potty." Go back inside school and into the bathroom. Sera proceeds to play with the napkin disposal bin or comments on the pictures on the wall. I remind her we came in here to go potty. Sera finally goes potty and tells me, "Sera do it!" Back to the car and back home.
6:30: Back home. Take Fred outside. Sera makes commentary on Fred's activities. If Fred is just sniffing around, she barks, "Fred! Go potty! Come on!" I realize she sounds just like me and I sound really annoying. Back inside. I whip up a quick dinner. Sera comes into the kitchen and tell me she's "hungy." I tell her I'm making dinner. She seems satisfied and goes to play. She returns and walks to me with her arms up, saying, "UP!" I inform her that I'm cutting up raw chicken and there's a pot of hot something on the stove. Now is not the time to pick her up. She carries her step stool to the counter and announces, "Sera help!" I tell her she can help, but can't touch anything. She proceeds to steal cheese and then requests a frozen tater tot. I give in. I watch in amazement as my child eats a frozen tater tot. Sera then announces that she has to go potty and she needs help. Food is cooking and almost done, but I go to help.
7:00: Minutes before dinner, Sera sits on the potty and tells me, "I have to poo-poo." I tell her, "Okay, then go poo-poo." She finishes and cheers, "Sera pooped!" Fred crawls into my lap because Sera is getting attention. Sera then tells Fred, "No, Fred. No eat my poop." I ask Sera if she wants to help me empty the potty. She says no. I walk away to the potty and she chases after me screaming, "Sera HELP!" We empty the potty and she comments on the contents of her potty. Sometimes, she says, "I no like my poop" and I realize that she never really saw her poop for the first two years of her life.
7:10: Wash hands and eat dinner. Sera plays around and refuses to eat. I offer to get a few grapes for her if she eats her peas or her chicken. She shifts her food from one compartment to the next. I tell her she's not fooling me and eventually warn her that she's going to get a time out. She smiles as I count to 3 and giggles as I put her in time out. From the other room, I hear her call from her time-out chair, "I have to go potty." Knowing this is a clear manipulation to get out of time out, I ignore her. She calls again and again, "I have to go potty." Not wanting her to go potty on my dining room chair, I tell her, "I will take you to go potty and then its back to time out." She makes the tiniest deposit in the potty. Part of her punishment is that she cannot flush the toilet now. It's interesting how punishment changes over the lifespan. Finish dinner and clean up. I realize that I now have to go potty.
7:45: I try to sneak away, but its no use. Sera runs down the hall, slides open the bathroom door and says, "Hey! No lock me out!" She walks over and asks, "Mommy? You wear big girl panties, too?" She claps and cheers as I successfully use the bathroom. She must now flush after me.
7:50: Sera and I play with her princess castle. She asks, "Snow white poop?" I explain that Snow White poops, too. She then runs down all the princesses she can recall. I explain, "Yes, Sera, all the princesses poop."
8:45: Readying for bed. She knows this is her last potty trip, so she takes much longer to go.
9:00: In bed. Sera packs in so many stuffed animals in her bed that there's barely room for her. At one point, she tosses one out, but then uses that as an excuse to get out of bed.
9:30: Sera finally falls asleep and I have managed to fall asleep in the rocking chair. I do one of those sleepy head dips and wake up mere milliseconds before my head hits the edge of the dresser. Check on Sera again and leave to find Craig is home from work. Collapse on the couch and watch the Daily Show until I either fall asleep again or decide to exercise. Then its off to bed to start again tomorrow.

Now enjoy pictures of Sera's princess dress-up adventures.

Okay, not a Disney princess dress, but a skirt and wings I made and then I told her she was a "fairy princess."