Random Act of Kindness

I don't know if it is because she is an only child, but Sera had a very brief "mine" stage. Occasionally, she'll pull a "mine" with Fred or become really possessive if she has something sweet or yummy. But who could blame her for not wanting to share her lollipop with Fred. What has been problematic lately is the issue of gratitude. I'm sure every kid will go through this. Especially any kid who is an only child. Especially a kid who's parents wished for her for over 11 years. We were always determined that she would never be spoiled. But there are so many things that I want her to have. Sure, she never asked for the See 'N Say, but I had one as a kid, so I really wanted her to have it. She also never asked for a Little Tikes Pick-up Truck, but we knew she would love it, so we got one for her. Further, she never realized that crabby sandboxes existed, yet there's one in the backyard now. I don't know if that makes her spoiled or if we just want her to experience more than she realizes.

Lately, Sera and I have been having lots of discussions about gratitude and generosity. Primarily with snacks and other food. Let me provide you with examples. We stopped giving Sera snacks after school because she would then refuse to eat a good dinner. We haven't done snacks in months. However, one day, I knew we had an errand to run after school and I thought I'd be nice a surprise her with a snack. She was ecstatic about her snack. She screamed excitedly and kicked her legs in the air. However, once she finished her snack, she asked for more. When I informed her that I had no more, a meltdown followed. Second example.... One night, Craig decided to make her chocolate milk. In Sera's head, he was not moving fast enough, so she threw herself on the floor and cried. In both of these examples, we had to sit her down and explain that we didn't have to give her these things. We had no obligation to. So, when we essentially gift her with something extra and she has a meltdown, it looks ungrateful. Mommy and daddy are being generous, but Sera is not being grateful. 

So, I came up with an idea to teach Sera about being generous. On our way to ballet class today, we stopped at a local florist and picked out some flowers. Sera, of course, picked pink.

After ballet class, we drove down to the mall. I explained the plan to Sera. "We're going to go into the mall with the flowers. Any time you see someone who looks like they could use one, give them a flower." She initially protested and asked me to do it. Sure, she could learn a lesson by watching mommy do it. But, I felt that she would learn a better lesson in being generous by doing it herself. I explained again, "Sera, if mommy does it, it's weird. But if you do it, it's cute." She agreed. We ventured inside. She hesitated and was cautious about giving away any flowers. Finally, I told her that mommy's hand was starting to hurt from carrying them and she needed to find people who needed a flower. She said, "I'm going to give it to a boy." I answered, "That's fine. Boys or girls." Her first flower went to a lovely woman sitting in front of a department store with her daughter. 

Sera ran up to her, handed her the flower, and then ran away. The woman turned to us and yelled, "THANK YOU!" After that first flower, Sera was hooked. She asked for another. She waved it in front of her, like a knight with a joust on a charge. 

 "I want to find somebody else," she said. She walked with determination and would scout for her next recipient. "I want to pick that lady." I don't know how she identified people, but once she decided on that person, she was determined to give them a flower. She chased one woman down, following after her, a flower in her hand, calling, "Here you go!" 

Sometimes, Sera would wait around for a "thank you." Not to make sure that they said "thank you," but because she wanted to make sure she said "You're welcome." Everyone seemed genuinely surprised and returned with big smiles. One woman asked, "Is she yours?" When I answered yes, she tried to return the flower, thinking Sera wasn't supposed to be giving away my flowers. I explained, "No, it's okay. She wants to give it to you."
I like to think of this activity as "flower bombing." There is something fun about running about to random strangers, giving them a flower, and basically running away. 

When we were done, Sera seemed pleased. I asked, "Doesn't it feel nice to give things to others?" Of course, she answered, "Yeah." Because she answers "yeah" to most questions. I don't know if she really learned anything about generosity and gratitude, but maybe we made someone's Valentine's Day a little bit sweeter.