Stamp happy!

I was starting to feel pretty proud of myself. Other potential parents are engaging on this long "paper chase" process, trying to obtain their birth certificates, marriage certificates, medical statements, financial statements, employment letters, and other dossier documents after their homestudy is done. Last post, I proudly announced that I had obtained these certified documents months and months ago and I was ready to go. Again, how foolish I was.
Apparently, you can't just request certified documents from the state and send them to China. They have to be certified by the state, the US Department of the State, and the China consulate. Here's the many layers of bureaucracy:
1. You must obtain the necessary documents from the state, your employer, your doctor, etc.
2. These documents must be signed in the presence of a notary (and not just any notary. You have to ensure that their notary commission does not expire within 6 months of stamping).
3. The notarized documents are then sent to the State of Oklahoma (or the state where they originated) to verify that the notary who stamped it is really a notary. The State of Oklahoma (or the state where they originated) then stamps it and attaches a letter of approval.
4. The State of Oklahoma (or the state where the document originated) then takes the notarized and stamped documents and letter of approval and sends it to the US Department of State.
5. The US Department of State looks at the notarized and stamped documents and letter of approval and verifies that both forms are correct and authentic. They stamp it again (!) and then attach another letter of approval saying that the local notary and the State of Oklahoma (or the state where the document originated) are correct.
6. The now thrice stamped documents with double attached letters are then hand carried to the China consulate in Houston, TX (because apparently, if you mail them, they send them right back).
7. The China consulate then verifies that the notary, State of Oklahoma (or the state where the document originated), and US Department of State are all correct and authentic. Then they stamp it AGAIN and attach ANOTHER letter saying that everything is kosher.
8. The documents are then cool to be sent to China. Hooray! The 3 month old you were planning to adopt is now 40! The entire progress reminds me Electric Company's There's a Hole (or maybe I just wanted to use an excuse to play an old-school Electric Company clip....and yes, the banana is what makes the WHOLE song ridiculous).

Sounds simple enough, right? WRONG! But wait! There's more! (Its the crappiest infomercial ever):
Documents that are more than 6 months old have to be re-authenticated. Meaning, all of the documents I dutifully obtained in November will be null and void by the time the home study is complete. When thinking about it, it seems entirely possible that we may notarize a document on March 26 and by the time it runs its course through the whole rigmarole, other documents could also expire.
Its not an inexpensive process either. Each authenticated document costs $20 just for the Consulate. I have no idea how much the state and US government charges. We also have to pay a courier.

There's an amusing episode of Futurama. For those of you not familiar with the show, it is a cartoon about an intergalactic delivery service and it takes place in the year 3000 and beyond. One of the characters is a bureaucrat and works for the Central Bureaucracy. I used to laugh at the satirical way they talked about stamping documents a required five times and the Bureaucracy-sanctioned Slowmobiles. Now, it appears that the cartoon science fiction may be live-action science fact. Jeesh!
(BTW... Thank you spell check. I apparently can't spell bureaucracy to save my life)