The Little Envelope That Could

See this envelope? This envelope contains a lot of promise. It has a big job to do. This FedEx envelope will only travel one state away, making a 475 mile trip from Oklahoma City, OK to Friendswood, TX. Ground trip only, so it will avoid the fate of Castaway's Wilson. And it will be going by FedEx and not USPS and will hopefully be delivered earlier than the postcard the Today show featured this week (delivered over 20 years late by USPS). You see, this envelope will contain our first official payment towards our adoption, accompanied by our adoption application, agency contract, and copies of our marriage certificate, birth certificates, 1040s, IDs, and medical records (i.e. the identity thief's goldmine). This envelope holds the promise of a baby, a little one, a sweet, little daughter. This envelope is the first intended step of the adoption process. Our adoption agency recommends application/contract ---> home study---> immigration approval. However, as an overly cautious individual, I did not want to write that first check until I knew our home study was approved. Unfortunately, we still do not know if our home study will be approved (now entering its 6th month for a process that usually takes 2), but I am optimistic that it will be. We decided that we've been overly cautious and calculated about everything and it hasn't worked out well for us. We've had one disappointment and frustration after another. Maybe all we needed was a little recklessness to get moving. There is a slim possibility that we will lose the amount of the first payment if our home study is rejected, but I am assuming that someone would have given us some remediation instructions by now if we were close to home study failure.
By now, you have likely deduced that we have decided not to abandon our adoption plans. Considering where we started and all we've been through, it seems foolish to give up now. Its like running a marathon and then deciding to quit when you can finally see the finish line. I also believe, no, I know that I was meant to be a mother, as Craig was meant to be a father.
There have been some changes yet again. Our adoption agency is requiring a completed home study by May 1, 2011 if we want to continue with China. China's deadline is October 1, but our adoption agency has to set an earlier deadline because of time required to obtain the other documentation. I contacted our wonderful agency representative. She and the China program leader informed me that they would make an exception for us, but we would have to move along very quickly. Meaning, we would have no margin for error. If there is a hassle in immigration or a delay with the US Department of State or a form is signed on the wrong line for the Chinese Consulate, we would be stuck. There would be a very real possibility that we would approach the October 1st deadline, only to discover that we will end up having to start over yet again. Therefore, we have decided to return to Ethiopia. Our agency representative informs me that Ethiopian adoptions are moving along "beautifully" and shared that a single mom recently adopted two unrelated girls, only 4 and 5 months old. Ethiopia does not require a Hague homestudy, but we're going to continue with the Hague homestudy because (1) we already paid for it and (2) it will be nice to have it just in case we have to switch countries again. Hopefully, this will be the last time we have to change countries. I am concerned that all this waffling is going to make us look like flighty, indecisive, and irresponsible parents. But our agency representative assures me that these behaviors and feelings are all perfectly normal and that's what I like to hear. We deserve some normal for a change.