Copy-paste

Since the birth of this blog, I feel that I could probably copy one entry and then paste it several more times repeatedly because nothing new is happening. I feel like I'm stuck in some evil time loop. Whatever evil mastermind is messing with my life... Please stop. I did nothing to harm you. I'm not Superman and you can't steal my super powers, as I lack them. I am not opposing your plans for world domination. I just want my baby. Heck, I will even help you in your plan for world domination if it means getting Baby Sera. However, Super Villain/Evil Mastermind, please stop aiming your Time Loop Ray on me.

So, I called our home study agency director on the 5th. She called me on the 6th and said that our home study would be done on the 8th. It has to be approved by two people at the agency, but otherwise, we're good to go. Well, here we are again.... nothing. We're not moving forward. We're not getting any closer to adding to our family. We're dead in the water. Craig called the director today and she reportedly sounded shocked, "You STILL don't have it?" No, woman! We're just calling to thank you for how royally your screwed us! No! We still don't have it. She said she would investigate and call us back.

Craig then proposed another solution. Start over. Demand our money back and start over. Which means waiting another 2-3 months, having to go through all the background checks, inspections, interviews, and medical evals all over again. (Because you know our louse of a home study worker won't share that stuff). I understand where Craig is coming from. I can see his logic. But I don't think I could bear having to take that huge step back. Having to think of wasting the past seven months makes me want to crawl into my new storm shelter and hide from the world. Cyndi's not home right now. Please come back when you actually have some good news. Unfortunately, although justified, I don't have the right or the luxury to experience a nervous breakdown right now. Although most people would have become borderline psychotic in a similar situation, if I show any ounce of human emotion, I am deemed an unfit parent. (You think I'm exaggerating, but its true).

Sometimes, I struggle when deciding how to close my blog posts. High school English tells us that our stories should have an introduction, a body, and a closing that wraps up the story into a neat little bow. However, our baby story will forever be a cliffhanger, I believe. And in small doses, cliffhangers can be thrilling and exciting, but as any viewer of Lost or the X-files can tell you, they get REALLY annoying after having them repeatedly. Plus, cliffhangers in real life, not so much fun. Not exactly compelling or feel-good TV. Just a frustrating downer. Our show would be cancelled during the middle of the first episode because of the number of people calling the crisis line due to vicarious traumatization.

Yet, we will soldier on. We are a diligent people and of strong stock. But if I'm avoiding you or somewhat cranky with you, please refer to this post and forgive me.

Oh, if you scroll WAY down to the bottom of my blog, you will see my adoption tracker, complete with a tiny cartoon rendering of little Sera. Awwww......such a cutey, even in digital art form.