Silver and bronze still rocks!

I have been thinking about moms a lot lately. Recently, I have found myself imagining what it must be like to be a birth mother who makes the decision to place her child up for adoption. Making sacrifices to her body and her lifestyle for a baby she will never name. Going to doctor's appointments for a baby whose first steps she will never witness. Dealing with a surge of hormones and crying spells, but never learning what songs will soothe her baby's cry. Feeling a baby move and kick, knowing they may never have a good snuggle together. Looking through dozens of parent profiles, trying to find the perfect one(s) who will provide a loving and secure home, not knowing anything about them past a few smiling pictures and embellished narratives (some more than others). It must be a very frightening and confusing time. Although I try to imagine what it must be like to be her, I will never know, never fully understand, but it fills me with wonder and admiration.

Today, we received our first official adoption update from our new sub-sub-contracted agency. In our monthly updates, they give us the names of the birth moms who viewed our profile book or our profile online. If any mothers chose us as their second or third choice, they let us know. We seemed to get a lot of attention at the beginning of April, but then they ran out of profile books. No one saw our profile book from April 10-30 because we ran out of books and we had to wait for our original agency to print more. However, we did get one hit on the website during that time. So, here it is... our first update along with the date our profile book was viewed. Our agency thought that these moms were a good match for our needs and presented our information to them. The agency sent me first names, but out of the respect for the privacy of the birth moms, I am only going to use their initials:

3/13- Y

4/2- E

4/3- AB

4/4- J

4/5- A

4/10- M

4/20- K (online view)

Out of this group, five birth moms rejected us. Considering my disdain for disappointment and criticism, you would think that a rejection would hurt. However, we took this surprisingly well. As I've stated before, we know we're not going to be everyone's perfect match.

Of these birth moms, Y ranked us as her second choice and K picked us as her third choice. Coming in second or third has never felt so wonderful. This means that these birth moms saw something in us, which will likely mean that another birth mom will see the same thing or more. Although we were not chosen first, its nice to know that we are being noticed. Craig also feels a little more relaxed because he can finally see that we are moving forward.

We are very open to race and out of the 100+ potential parents, only 5-12 are willing to accept a "minority" child. So, our profile book is being shown to women of all races with an emphasis on a potential transracial adoption. However, K viewed us online. Out of 110 (at my initial count) potential parents, K chose us as 3rd. That feels pretty awesome.

I feel a little energized by this news and I want more potentially good news. Its intoxicating. More! More! Alas, we will have to wait another month for our next update unless we are matched.

In the meantime, the nursery continues to come along. The room has been emptied and I have painted it a light shade of sage. I bought the combination paint and primer, which I will never do again. The paint did not apply evenly and I found the walls with white speckles, the previous white walls shining through. I went up and down the room, inspecting each wall and touching up where needed. Some sections seemed to require 3 coats. I finally became frustrated and forcefully (if not amusingly) announced, "This is a woodland motif! This is the forest and the green leaves! Any white speckles are sunshine, filtering through the treetops!" The carpet will be installed on Thursday and if Craig allows, we can begin moving in baby furniture and start decorating this weekend. More! More!