Snark to stork

When I was 18 years old, I began my first job, sales associate at Toys R Us. I started as a cashier and then moved to the floor (my preference). First in girl's toys, then in baby, then action figures, and eventually back to baby. From 18 until I left at 21, babies were the farthest from my mind and I found myself making snarky comments about the available baby items. The VCR locks (what are kids putting in there?). Baby harnesses (for couples transitioning from dogs to kids). The Diaper Genie (it looked like dirty diaper sausage!). The jar of tiny assorted baby hot dogs (which was labelled on the computer-generated shelf tag as "Meat Sticks Ass"...really.) I found myself amused by couples who argued over whether to buy Disney Pooh or Classic Pooh items and didn't understand why moms needed Boppies.

Flash forward 13 years. I still feel somewhat confused, but I'm a little less snarky. I have been thinking of baby stuff for years, but we didn't want to be stuck with things we would never use. Craig felt the same. 

It took some work, but I finally convinced Craig to start a registry. Craig was resistant for a couple of reasons. (1) He always thought registries were greedy. "Gimme!  Gimme! Gimme! I only want this." (2) Through the adoption process, Craig has been hesitant to buy anything baby related until we actually know we are going to have a baby. 

I had to explain that a registry would prevent us from getting 10 pairs of baby nail clippers. I also reminded Craig that we could conceivably have a mere 2 days notice before we pick up a baby, so we have to start planning now. He eventually agreed. (Another selling point.... I told Craig he could add one non-baby item. See if you can find it. Hint... Craig said he wanted to ensure that Sera never had to squint)

This evening, Craig and I ventured to Target. Why not Babies R Us or Toys R Us, you may ask? After all, that is where Craig and I met and stocked shelves together. Well, while working at Toys R Us and helping families create and shop off registries, I discovered that the BRU and TRU selection varies widely by store (size, location, district, concept, etc), while Target is pretty universal. We checked into the computer (using 9/30/12 as a due date since we just don't know) and were handed our little scanny gun (I believe we called them LRTs during my retail days). We then started our little pseudo-shopping adventure. I was feeling pretty excited and confident until we actually reached the baby section. I then felt completely overwhelmed and unqualified and wondered, "What did I do? What do I get?" Craig and I went methodically down each aisle, pondering each section and asking, "Do babies need that?" We passed on diapers, wipes, and formulas because we don't know if Sera will have any sensitivities. We then entered the bottle aisle. 

Earlier in the day, I was having a text conversation with Master Mom, Jenny and asked for her advice about what to buy. She gave me some thoughtful ideas, as Master Moms can do and added that she felt overwhelmed by the bottles before her first son was born. Sorry, Jenny, but during our texting, I did think, "Bottles? Bottles are going to be easy." Oh, how naive I was. I should never question the Master Mom. Craig and I stood in the middle of the bottle aisle. We knew we could ignore the whole breastfeeding section. That reduced our section by 1/4. We then shuffled up and down the aisle, reading the claims of each bottle. This one mimics the breast! This one is BPA free! This one reduced colic and gas! This one is easy to clean! I finally found a bottle I liked (and some glass ones I added online later). We scanned the bottle set and then I wondered, "Did we scan enough? How many do we need?" 

The rest of our registering seemed a little less overwhelming and did start to get fun. I will admit, there is something enjoyable about seeing something, giggling, "Oh! That's cute!" scanning it, and hoping it someday comes home with you. 

I think we got everything, but I'm sure we left out some things. We'll figure it out. We don't have a lot of toiletries on the list. You will also notice a complete lack of crib. Craig still has a hard time shaking the registry=greed equation, so he wants us to buy the crib, changing table, and dresser. I am perfectly fine with that. The furniture is all Target. Its very cute and very pretty. I like the decorative detail. 

If you are interested in giving us a baby gift, you can find our registry at Target.com. I tried to provide the direct link, but the site went wonky and kept reloading. You can search under Craig or Cynthia Repanshek. Don't feel like you have to buy us anything. If you decide to buy us something, don't feel that you are restricted to this list. I'm sure someone can find something out there that still brings out that late adolescent snark in me. You know? Something like the Baby Mop, the BabyKeeper, the Baby Bangs headband.
And what movie comes to mind here? Alien or Total Recall?